Yeah, you sound it. (lost)

start living life. please realise that this isn't your lot, you're better than this and you've got it all to come. If she doesn't know how you feel, tell her. The worst that can happen is she turns away, leaving you feeling rather embarassed but at least you actually did something that benefits your soul for once. Being unhappy and monotonous must be so boring and hopeless, please pull yourself out of this. THere's no need to understand every emotion you feel, sometimes you just do, and they need to be dismissed.

What you have at the moment is not what you want for the rest of your life, and you are the only person that can change this, be happy again, you deserve it :(

Goodluck and god bless

xx 

wats foilibles-did I spell that right??
&thx 4 the luck.

Are you sure you didn't see the small things?Could it be you saw them but didn't recognize them? Or perhaps you saw them and chose not to believe them because it meant pain on top of pain before you wanted it to begin?

   While I was still single,a married man asked me for advice once.(imagine that) He was unemployed with a broken leg living inside a mobile home with a wife who lived in sadness and with epilepsy. Her oldest son was the product of a rape.Her two oldest daughters were smoking pot (underage they were)...their best friends were underage prostitutes.She was taking care of a baby. They had no money,little hope ....and I was told to seek him out to be of service. I had nothing to offer them but words and prayer.He soaked it in as a man who believed the impossible and in a few months (three to be exact)...His daughters stopped pot (their friends had changed lifestyles). The wife's epilepsy stopped. The symptoms of his broken leg ceased to be with no reasonable explanation from the doctor. He was offered three jobs in two weeks and checks showed up in the mailbox...the timing of which was very perplexing and most amazing. The son who would at one time been aborted proved to be a genius and later joined the army.He had a wisdom beyond his years. The marriage was healed.All things were new. The challenges continued but with a lot less stress. He went on to become a wise counselor who in turn along with his wife helped many other individuals and families. Their future may have changed because all good things must be cultivated and fed less they become sick and die and we all tend to become slack. The important thing here is that when one family was at the end of its rope....words and prayer spread like a wild fire and ignited them into a family with passion and direction and reason to go on...we stand with you now as you learn to find a reason to stand. When one is at the bottom of a dry well with no hope rather than outside the well dipping a bucket for himself and others then he must humble himself at the bottom of that well so the renewed change in his heart will give him courage to climb,for the one that left may be drier than the one inside.

Three must meet: The man you are,the boy you were,and the Creator who knows. What will happen?...Who knows?The boy who did hurt lives inside the man who is,but had limited capacity to deal with the pain. The man who now knows the boy was hurting, cannot take what he knows and heal the boy because, one has become the other.Neither can he go back in time on his own. The Creator who knows (whose capacity is unlimited) must take the man he knows back to the boy who doesn't know and couldn't carry the weight of the loss and pain and direct the man to see how He sees the boy in that pain and how He hurts along side the boy. What the Creator says to the man when he brings him back to the boys past (which is indelibly imprinted upon his own adult soul)Those words and glances and truths shared at this conference of three ,is the beginning of healing. It cannot happen unless the Creator is invited. If the boy is angry with or afraid of the creator then the healing will be blocked until the boy is comfortable with having the creator on the scene. If the boy does not object to the presence of the creator then the man that you are can invite the boy to hear and see all that the creator is doing and a proper acknowledgement of the Creators every action brings life to a very hurting man. I have experienced the beginning of this most of it in this last year.

This may sound harsh, but I would get out of that relationship now.  Anyone who makes you feel that bad about yourself for no reason needs to go.  If there's one thing that I've learned in this life it's that a leopard doesn't change its spots.  It sounds to me as if she is not going to change and that you will have to accept her as is.  If you don't love her as is then there is no point in staying in a relationship that is going nowhere.  It doesn't matter how long you've been in the relationship...if it can't progress then get out.  I spent 10 years in a relationship that went nowhere.  I don't regret the relationship, but I do regret the time spent on it that could have been used to find the right person for me.  I kept hoping year after year that he would change and he never did.  As far as I know, he still hasn't.  Also, you shouldn't have to ask for anything, it should be given willingly from both sides. And, don't ever change who you are for anyone.  Yes, compromise is good and sometimes you have to deal with things.  If they are small things then it's not a problem.......this does not sound like a small change.  Try looking at your relationship from the outside....would you tell a friend to stay in a relationship like yours?  If the answer is no.....then, you know what to do.

You have an adventure waiting for you that you have not found yet. This is not a spooky prophesy or dreamers incantation of absurd fortune-telling. I really mean it! (now I'm meddling). I believe with everything in me that boredom is a vacuum we enter when our perception of trivial things (such as dirty clothes) has us disconnected from what was once very important. When I met my wife,she drove a little Chevy Chevette,bright yellow,very noticeable. Yellow became wildly important and every small yellow car made me light up on the inside. Now yellow cars mean nothing because the connection is gone. She simply has a different car. Summary: all tasks at hand and/or inanimate duties related to things are a pile of nothing to us unless there is a vital relationship offering meaning to the task or object. Unless there is a touchdown or field goal connected to every load of clothes (victories are a guy's thing!) or some sort of sense of building our esteem or the esteem of others;then are we bored. The garments in our lives are important when they speak heavily of the issues in our hearts.

I'm bored tonight too...boo.

Laundry is a never ending chore.  I love it, because I can throw in a load and sit on my butt and watch tv for awhile and say I'm doing laundry .  It's neat.  I guess I loved it more when I was a housewife and felt the need to stay busy...

Unresolved hurts from past experiences leave us with "triggers" where when anything our present friends say or do touches the trigger...we then find ourselves reacting the same way we did in the past. You already know this about yourself. If that suspicion or suspicious response lurks in the background, then when we ask questions there would sometimes be a sense of that suspicion carrying over in the question and the hearer (your gf) would possibly feel threatened by the question.(she may have no problem with the question but is reacting to your fear) The problem that really exists,however; is that we don't always ask the hidden question or give the hidden request or response and we are forever dancing just above the surface of the most meaningful, unspoken words. We have let to learn that the very character of love requires that we remain vunerable in the face of our real fears and unvocalized words and that we take the risk of being real so that truth (in measure) can prevail. Truth expressed even when there is a risk of rejection when I'm being honest holds more weight in the long run when it comes to securing a trust amongst lovers and friends.Even still, if I lay aside my fears and learn what the love language is that my friend responds to ,then I would begin to grasp the things that are being spoken loudly without words. I hope this is not confusing.but most guys do lie when they say they love someone. If they were honest then they would say they need someone. They like someone. They want someone. They are afraid that someone may leave. Love and need may be different.

Sometimes its essential in text but otherwise....you seriously have to be in a hurry to get away with it in my book.

I play guitar too! In fact I have to bring in my acoustic one to school tomorrow for a music class....

Does the shorthand practioner keep the hands together for a clap in order to save time and thus creates no noise? Does the brief abbreviated posture of an angry skunk letout only little puffs of stink? Does a fast kiss remind the recipient that anything ever happened in the first place? Have we ever hurried to a destination at a speed 10 miles per hour more than the other drivers only to arrive at the same time and place at the stop sign?

This is kind of fun need I go on? perhaps not. Thank you for your comments!

lol,I use it mostly all the time,its easier when u,you dont know how to spell something,it messes me up when people sp3ll l!k3 th!s!!!

god thats whats annoying,lol.
it takes me awhile to remember to spell out the word and not use net speak when Im doing sumthing 4 school.

also Im a bad speller,lol...I used to be able to spell,its messing me up that Im writing to,and not 2,lol.

Finally someone who gets what I mean!!!

Hugs,
Swan

i know how u feel ...

i myself am not sure why either...i feel that maybe its because some peole feel they have nothing left and that church is a way to 'connect' tos omething greater out there that may be able to help them. maybe religion is waht gest pe ople thru their day soetimes
or they feel they  have to believe or they will be outcast by people they value highly such as their parents or waht not..

sorry i wroe u a better comment thata got erased...so this'll do
take care
sammi

thanks for liking my writting.. and dumbing it down so i could understand it lol

[FallenDeep]

ohhh I see..

kinda like the media iz being sexist?

Thanks for the comment. Hmm drinking myself silly to sleep might be a problem, considering I am on blood thinners and can't drink. Love your entry hehe Hope you're having a great week so far!

I HATE the media all it does is say if u dont look like this then ur not good enough...and this person iz "perfect"...

w/e the f*** that iz?!

oh and Im under 18...lol.

wat do u mean when u said sumthing about talking 2 sum1 under 18...like if u said they were beautiful then ur a pervert?

and I'll mention if I think another girl iz pretty and I dont care if sum1 calls me gay or bi or w/e.

Im not but...

1.why would they care?

2.why does it matter?

3.and iz it their buisness..nooooo..

we have our own opinions and no1 can tell us wat 2 think or anything!!!

I think every1 should be who they want 2 be do wat they want 2 do and say wat they want 2 say with out being judged.

Our society sucks!

 In everything anyone does, there is an excuse to critisize them.

Our society sucks!

 In everything anyone does, there is an excuse to critisize them.